


Burdock

by ImperialMint



Series: silence speaks for me [eruri week 2013] [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 18:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialMint/pseuds/ImperialMint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Two of Eruri Week: Blood</p>
<p>“We’re connected,” he said, moving to rest his head against Levi’s shoulder. “Not by blood, not by family oath – I can’t be a brother to you and I certainly don’t want to be – but by something.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burdock

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day two of Eruri week! Day two's theme was 'blood'
> 
> This is un-betaed so any mistakes are my own and I'd appreciate that if any are found that they be pointed out!

The matron swept past them in a flurry of skirts, arms full of boxes. She paused as Erwin stepped out of the way, wide smile on her face.

“Thank you Erwin,” she said, setting the boxes down under the large tree that took up on corner of the room. Like the presents, it had been a donation to the orphanage and it stood proudly for all to see.

“Come help me arrange these presents and then it’ll be time for bed,” she said kindly and Erwin nodded, small hands helping to arrange the boxes around the base of the tree, mind overtaken by his task and unfocused (for once) on the circumstances that had led to the orphanage being his permanent home.

They finished and the matron ruffled Erwin’s hair, picking him up and carrying him to the boy’s room. The occupants were already asleep, but Erwin had always had trouble and so the matron allowed him to stay up and help with some of the easier chores the staff did when the children were asleep. 

When she had tucked him in bed and left him with a kiss on the forehead, Erwin brought out a cream coloured toy horse. Some of the fabric had rubbed away and it was missing an eye, but Erwin loved his cuddly horse and refused to be separated from it. It was his, he had little else and the matron thought it was good Erwin had Pegasus (because a noble toy needed a noble name).

The following morning brought the usual excitement Christmas morning did. Children woke in an excited flurry and flew downstairs, under the watchful eye of one of the caretakers, who chivvied out presents with a huge smile. 

Erwin waited in the doorway, Pegasus dangling from his hand. There was only one caretaker in the room and he frowned, wandering away from the celebrations and to the matron’s office. He’d been right in his suspicions and saw the remainder of the staff in her office, gathered around something.

“Oh Erwin,” the matron said and she moved towards him, nodding to her co-workers. “Why aren’t you with the others?”

Erwin shrugged, trying to look past her. She sighed and pulled him into the room.

“Someone left a baby on our doorstep this morning. He’s a weak little thing, but the doctor’s already had a look and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him.” She patted Erwin on the head kindly. “Would you like to see him? His name is Levi.”

She led Erwin to the basket the baby lay in and looked down. Levi had a scowl on his face and looked, or so Erwin thought, rather ugly. He looked up, hands reaching for Pegasus, gargling merrily to himself.

Erwin frowned, pulling Pegasus back into a safer place. Levi looked affronted before he shifted angrily, scowl deepening.

“This is Erwin,” the matron said to Levi. “He’ll be your new brother from now on. You might not be related by blood, but you’re brothers just the same.”

It was a heavy burden, but Erwin smiled to himself and dangled Pegasus over Levi, letting his little fingers play with Pegasus’ legs.

“Hello Levi,” he said and Levi paused in playing with Pegasus to stare at Erwin, smiling joyfully up at his new brother

.

Unlike a lot of the other children, Erwin and Levi didn’t terrorise the orphanage. They were always together, but they were quiet children more content to sit in their room and read books than build forts. That wasn’t to say they never did build a fort, but they tended to stay away from the other children and seek company from each other.

Erwin had always overlooked Levi. He’d helped the matron to raise him and Levi looked up to him as if Erwin was his entire world. On the rare occasions he refused to listen to matron, he would always listen to Erwin.

“You need to dress smartly, Levi,” the matron said, looking to Erwin for help when Levi crossed his arms over his chest. He was around six years old and Erwin was nearing on ten.

“Why?” Levi responded. “Erwin doesn’t have to dress up.” 

The matron sighed, crouching down so she could see eye to eye. 

“That’s because Erwin isn’t meeting the nice couple you’ll be meeting. Remember what Erwin told you about being adopted?” She looked to Erwin and he nodded solemnly.

“The nice people want to see you today,” Erwin said and Levi looked at him, attention focused just on Erwin. “You have to dress up, just a little.”

With coaxing from Erwin, Levi did get dressed. The matron patted Erwin’s shoulder fondly, throwing words such as brave and strong at him, though Erwin wasn’t quite sure why. Sure Levi was going to meet potential adopters today, but it didn’t mean he was leaving Erwin.

Levi returned from the meeting with a scowl on his face, fighting the matron as she led him to his and Erwin’s room. He tried to kick her and Erwin rushed forward, pulling Levi away and towards the bed, where Pegasus sat, threadbare and loved.

“Levi, you need to calm down,” the matron said. Her eyes were wide and Erwin knew his was serious. His heart sank, but he padded to Levi’s side, letting him rest against him.

“They want to adopt him,” the matron explained to Erwin, rubbing her eyes tiredly. “As soon as possible.”

Erwin wanted to shake his head and cry for the first time in years. He knew that being adopted was good, was what Levi needed (they’d talked about family in hushed voices and it was more than Levi ever hoped for), but it also meant Levi would leave him. 

Still, Levi wanted a family. Erwin couldn’t be selfish and take that away from him. Plus Erwin would be out of the orphanage in a few years and he could still see Levi in his new home. Erwin couldn’t be selfish, not when Levi was about to get everything he’d always wanted.

“That’s good,” Erwin said, turning to Levi and wrapping his arms around him. “You’ll get a super cool room of your own and I’ll come visit. Nothing will change! You can take Pegasus too, he’ll look after you when I’m not there.”

Levi looked up at him blearily, rubbing his red eyes. He sniffed heavily.

“Do you promise?” he said desperately.

“I promise,” Erwin said, smiling, though his heart felt like it was being torn in two. “You’re my brother, I’d do anything for you.

.

Of course, promises were never set in stone. Levi left the orphanage three weeks later, eyes rimmed red and hands shaking. The couple who had adopted him seemed like nice people and Erwin had waved goodbye with a grin and Levi’s address in his hand.

They sent letters for a while, but the letters were brief. Levi was young and in a new environment and Erwin never really had much to say. Policy at the orphanage determined that Erwin wasn’t able to invite Levi to stay with him and Levi mentioned that he couldn’t ask his new parents for anything. Erwin understood. Levi had never asked for much when they’d been together and he wouldn’t ask for anything from his parents if he felt there was a chance they’d turn him down.

By the time Erwin had reached his teens, Levi was around nine and the difference was too great. Levi was still a kid and Erwin was moving into the real world. Homework got heavier and the time between letters became greater and greater. Erwin still kept the sheets of paper Levi had sent him, looked through them and at the picture Levi had sent once, of him and Pegasus, but it was with fond nostalgia more than anything else.

He missed Levi, but he had a different life now. Levi didn’t need him how he’d needed him before and while the thought stung, it was for the best.

Erwin continued life simply. He watched other kids get adopted out, helped along the ones that didn’t and formed a small community, and worked with the matron when he didn’t have school. She thanked him for his work, eyes always crinkled when he was in her vicinity.

“You’re such a kind boy,” she said, patting Erwin’s shoulder. He was in his mid-teens now, gangly and too tall for his body. He was taller than her now, but he’d always let her pat his shoulder or ruffle his hair. She was the closest thing he’d ever had to a mother – his own had died long before he could remember her properly.

“Are you lonely?” she asked in concern and Erwin shook his head.

“I help the other kids with their studies and I have a few friends at school.” Erwin smiled. “I’m not lonely.”

And it was the truth. He wasn’t lonely, he wasn’t really anything.

When he was twenty two, Erwin managed to secure an apartment of his own just down the street from the orphanage. He juggled his job with university and helping out at the orphanage, but Erwin was as close to happy as he had ever been. 

His university was an hour bus ride away, but Erwin didn’t see the merit in getting a car. It was just money that could be spent on rent or given to the orphanage. He enjoyed his time on the bus, though, music blaring from his beaten up mp3 and the friendly faces of regular commuters.

The bus on this particular day was full and he stood between a young woman with a large bag and a man with a particularly ripe coat. Erwin’s height helped him avoid the smell, but there was no escaping the push and pull of the bus. A group pushed past at the next stop and Erwin sighed in relief as it became clear there were enough seats now.

“Sorry,” Erwin said, one headphone falling out as he fell into his seat, pushed by the man in the smelly coat. Luckily the man was destined for a sat further back and Erwin sighed in relief, nodding to the man next to him.

It was about forty minutes into the journey that Erwin felt a tap on his shoulder and he removed his headphones quickly, looking to the man at his side.

“Sorry to bother you,” the man said and Erwin shook his head slightly. The man had dark circles under his eyes, as if he’d been awake for a long time, and Erwin thought he saw the man’s hands shake. Perhaps that was just the bus though.

“I just wanted to be sure, we haven’t passed The Wall Orphanage, have we?” His voice was low and thick and Erwin knew then that he’d been travelling for quite a while and was tired. 

“No,” Erwin said, turning his body towards the other man slightly. “I’ll be getting off there too, we have about twenty minutes left.”

Erwin looked out of the window. “Though it’s more like thirty to forty with this traffic.”

The other man nodded and grunted his thanks, closing his eyes. He kept them closed until Erwin shook him gently, pressing the bell button and gesturing for him to follow.

“The bus stop is right outside,” Erwin said, hitching his rucksack up onto his back and pointing at the building that meant so much to him. He had work in a local restaurant later, or else he’d go in right now.

“Thanks,” the man said and Erwin walked away, looking over his shoulder as he crossed the road staring up at the orphanage as if it was some mighty demon. Perhaps he’d been an orphan there, though Erwin couldn’t quite match his face to a name.

Work rushed by in a blur and Erwin finished cleaning down the main room late. He bid goodbye to the owner, he’d be back tomorrow evening anyway, and pulled his phone from his pocket as he made his way home, surprise and worry filling his belly when he saw he had three missed calls from matron.

“Shit,” he said to himself, hurrying his pace towards home as he returned her call. She picked up on the fifth ring and reassured Erwin that everything was okay and that she simply had something to show him.

Relief came thick and fast and Erwin agreed to come over that night. He didn’t have class the following day and was looking forward to trading gossip over tea, a habit they’d formed after Erwin had moved out and the matron was worried about his eating habits. Even though the restaurant fed him well and Erwin could put together decent meals for himself, it was nice to have someone worry about his wellbeing for once.

Erwin entered the orphanage without knocking, greeting one of the workers who was heading home. She smiled broadly at him, something that was a little odd, but not out of place. Perhaps she had the next day off and was glad for the rest, Erwin thought. 

“Erwin,” matron said as he walked into the kitchen. “He’s in the dining room, I’ll give you some privacy.”

“Who?” Erwin asked, but the matron had already walked from the room to check on the children upstairs. 

There was no sense standing in the kitchen waiting, so Erwin pushed open the dining room door, eyes widening as he saw what lay on the table. It was Pegasus, unmistakably his Pegasus, the one he had given to Levi.

Levi.

And, of course, it was the man he’d helped earlier. Erwin moved around the table to where he sat, eyes wide. He remained still, as if any movement would shatter the moment between them.

“Is it really you?” Erwin asked, crouching down. His head was at Levi’s chest level, but he didn’t care. Levi gave the slightest of nods and Erwin broke into a grin, pulling Levi with him as he stood and hugging him tightly.

“It’s been so long,” he said, shoulders relaxing from tension Erwin didn’t realise he had held in them when Levi’s arms hugged him back. “Far too long.”

They sat in the dining room for a while, telling each other about their lives. Erwin didn’t have much to say and neither did Levi, but their knees touched the entire time and Erwin refused to let go of Levi’s hand. He had an opportunity to keep Levi in his life and he refused to let go.

“Boys,” matron’s warm voice said. “I’m heading to bed.”

Erwin knew it was as polite a dismissal as they would get and he smiled, nodding in understanding. 

“My flat’s just down the road,” Erwin said ad Levi started slightly, as if he’d assumed that was the end of it. “You can stay over too, it’s too late to travel the long way back.”

Levi nodded, scooping Pegasus up into his arms and threading his fingers with Erwin’s. He didn’t say anything, just let Erwin lead him home, just how they had when they were younger.

“I knew it was you on the bus,” Levi said quietly, as Erwin unlocked his door. “I looked you up online.”

Erwin didn’t use his Facebook much, but having it was unavoidable in this day and age. He hadn’t even thought to use it to look up Levi and felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

“I-“ Erwin said, unsure what to say. His hand rested on the door handle and he hung his head. 

A warm hand cupped his cheek and Levi smiled faintly before he opened Erwin’s door, pushing past with ease. He’d hardly changed, Erwin thought, and followed with ease. It didn’t matter what they had or hadn’t done before, they were back together now.

“My parents are moving to another country, dad’s work. They asked if I wanted to go with them, but I’m looking for universities and… well.” Levi crossed one leg over the other as he sat on Erwin’s sofa, looking perfectly at home. “I have another reason why I can’t leave.”

Erwin turned the lights on and joined Levi on the sofa, leaning forward. 

“I’ve missed you,” Levi said softly, and Erwin knew it was an admission Levi had never let slip past his lips before. He moved closer, the sofa dipping and pulling Levi to him.

“I’m glad my parents gave me up,” Levi said, bitter smile pulling at his lips. “And I’ve wanted to get back in touch with you for ages. It’s just… it was so hard and-“

Erwin set a hand over Levi’s, understanding. 

“We’re connected,” he said, moving to rest his head against Levi’s shoulder. “Not by blood, not by family oath – I can’t be a brother to you and I certainly don’t want to be – but by something.”

Levi’s fingers tangled in his hair, stroking gently. Erwin had no idea what the future would bring, but for now he had Levi back and that was enough.


End file.
